I understand the challenges faced as a caregiver to a child with special needs. It can be mentally and physically draining, and the roller coaster of emotions is something many of us can relate to fear, panic, anger, denial, loneliness, happiness, joy, and pride.
When my son was in elementary school, I couldn’t help but notice how other mothers seemed so calm and content during school events. Their children sat still at their desks, wrote neatly, and played well with others. Meanwhile, my son was in constant motion, bouncing and hopping around, making it hard for him to focus. I would sit still in a room and get exhausted, watching him jump and fidget until he exhausted himself to sleep. Fine and gross motor skills were challenging, and his handwriting was nearly illegible. Certain sounds were difficult for him to pronounce, and he struggled socially and with coordination. Executive functioning? That seemed like a foreign concept to him.
Then came 3rd grade, and the nightly homework battles commenced. He would do everything to avoid completing homework. Before I knew it, it would be late into the evening. Frustration would take over, and I would lose my patience and yell. Inevitably, he would yell back. And then, in a moment of realization, I would feel like the worst mother in the world and apologize. And so it went on until one evening, around 8 pm, as he struggled with homework, something changed. I decided to put an end to the madness. I looked at him and said, “I know how hard you work, and I see how things take you twice as long. I give you much credit and don’t know how you do it.” Those simple words brought tears to his eyes because he felt acknowledged and understood. It was a turning point for both of us.
Over time, little progress occurred in stages. In middle school, speech and coordination improved. In 9th grade, social skills improved. It wasn’t until high school that he was officially diagnosed with dyslexia. In college, he was diagnosed with auditory closure disorder. By that point, he had discovered his own workarounds to navigate life.
I remember when I thought there was no way my son would become an independent adult. Yet somehow, along the way, it happened. He started completing his college work independently, utilizing technology for typing, spelling, and reading. Apps became his best friends, reminding him of important tasks and deadlines. It was truly amazing to witness his growth. Just keep supporting these precious children. Celebrate their achievements and accept that which cannot be changed. And remember, every child deserves a success story.